I'm soo lost

I guess I'm really lost right now.I'm no longer the idiot I used to be. In this past week, it has been clearer and (even) clearer as more time passes by. I have completely lost the person I was and I'm not quite sure what I have become. I used to be the person who is very optimistic,determined and don't give a damn to what other people think of me but now I'm totally different. I get taken aback easily and I let my nerves get the better of me.My emotions are running wild! At first I'm happy then sad then angry then happy then sad and then happy again! It's a kaleidoscope of emotions that makes me feel so uncertain and fearful at what lies ahead. I guess I have lost the joyful person in me.

A good example is today 20/6/08 (by the time you read this,it was yesterday).
At first when I woke up I was really damn happy (Thank You for the chat the previous night! You really made my day :D) and I was looking forward to play soccer with the rest of my classmates but every happiness comes with a sadness in it.My mom told me that my Maid's father had just passed away. I wasn't taken aback since I wasn't that close to her but somehow I felt for her.

That wasn't the only example of my sudden kaleidoscope of emotions. I have come to realise that I get angry so easily today.Before the soccer game I was practically happy but a few provokes from my friends during the game, I ended up stepping on alot of people foot and injured them in the course of my folly.This is not the real ME! I don't get angry easily and I'm not an aggressive player but today I showed the other side of ME!

"SORRY EVERYONE"

I guess I better get myself together. I have to learn to let things go and get over it.I must contain my emotions and not to let my nerves get the better of me.Else...it will be hard for me in the long-run.My mind has already been set.I know where I want to go right after O lvl and certainly I will surpass my brother! Yah...I really want to thank 'you'!

Hmmm...I guess that's it. It's 3:50am and the second-half Euro quartefinal gonna start soon. I hope tmr is a better day. I might not be online for a few days. I'll be staying at my late-grandmother place for a few days eventhough school is starting (though it's three blocks away).The next post shall be a better one.Well if you miss me...you can always call or sms me.Hahah. Yah...like I told 'you'...this ears of mine are for listening!

"Wow...you really made my day!"

122days left...